I think we have all had Tinder at some point — or at least most of us have. Anyone who says they haven’t is either lying or is a hopeless romantic who believes they’re going to meet the love of their life in a café, ask what they’re drinking, and that will be the beginning of everything (I met my boyfriend similarly). Please — as if we were Julia Roberts and Ryan Gosling. Real life isn’t like that. It never really was, and judging by the way things are going, I doubt it ever will be.
Hans Holbein was the creator of Tinder. Well, not exactly — he didn’t call it Tinder, he called it the Haus of Holbein, and this was back in 1539. He was responsible for painting the portraits of the influencers of the time: kings, queens, princes, and princesses. Holbein was admired by both men and women. Imagine it: a man who could paint you like a Greek god and who also knew all the nobility everywhere. He was the perfect wingman — or, in other words, a Renaissance Tinder.
When the king finally met Ana, it became one of the world’s first catfish — not because of her, but because of him. Anne found herself face to face with an unattractive king whose leg was oozing with pus. In a desperate attempt to save face, he declared her so ugly that he annulled the marriage. Let’s be honest: Anne wasn’t ugly. Henry was simply a toxic, wealthy man in a position of power who did not exactly have the best record when it came to fidelity. To get rid of her, he gave her two castles so she could live alone with as many servants as she wanted, just so she would leave him in peace and allow him to move on to a fifth wife.
Men like Henry do not belong to a single era; they are the men of every era. They are the ones who demand impossible standards while offering the bare minimum, simply because the system places them higher. They are the ones who validate women only for how they look.
Except we don’t receive two consolation castles. Nor do men get the help of an artist like Holbein to do them favors anymore.
After all, these are different times now… aren’t they?
(Both portraits were painted by Hans Holbein, the original Tinder.)
